Thursday, October 27, 2005

journal entry twelve...

last night OD called. i didn't pick up because i wasn't feeling it, but it was nice to hear him ramble on and concern himself with my well being. i sent him an email this morning and he was very sweet.

KE also sent me an email to check in and see what's up. i guess i do still have a few people i can rely on. i wish she lived closer though so i could really let it all out to her and allow her to comfort me and give me advice that i probably wouldn't take. i miss her.

besides that i feel this heaviness in my heart. and a bit of sorrow that's leaving me frazzled and on the verge of tears. i can be so sensitive sometimes. and at others so unbelievably obtuse. i think it's because i'm so self-absorbed. but the fact of the matter is that if i don't coddle and baby myself, ain't nobody else gonna do it for me.

right now the only people i count among my friends are CR, KE, OD, BE, NA, BO, and sometimes ME. oh. and CA and CL of course.

i guess that's not bad. at least i'm not entirely alone out here. and it's more than what i started out with when it was just me and ka and then me and no one.

i'm down, but i'm not out.

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