Monday, October 31, 2005

journal entry twenty-one...

i've been having trouble remembering my dreams lately. it's like i just fling myself into sleep and don't actually pay attention to what's going on. i think that when i wake up and it's not from a nightmare that i'm just so relieved i don't bother with all the details. this morning i tried to remember as much as i could although out of context none of it really makes any sense. they all sort of jumble together but anyway, here are the parts i thought were important:

1) dad was in one. i can't remember much of what he was doing except that he was helping me gather money from everyone to pay for parking and a gift for KP's birthday. we kept finding piles of money in bushes and just flying around in the yard.

2) i baked another chocolate cake for her birthday but at some point it turned out that i ruined it by sitting on it. there was no big fuss over the ruination, i only noticed because there was chocolate cake all over my shorts at one point.

3) i wasn't sure what to buy for KP and i kept trying to decide on a dollar amount and place to purchase a gift certificate from. i wanted her to feel really happy and loved so i was going to charge it and then i kind of panicked because i didn't want to add to my credit card debt.

4) it switched suddenly and it was someone elses birthday who i didn't know very well. he was an artist though so i was going to buy him a gift certificate from the local art store but i ran into CR there and he was buying him some paint so i thought i'd do that too but all the paints i could find had already been used a little bit. i was looking for primary colors so that he could mix them together to make other colors so it would seem like he had more paint for the money.

5) the art store turned into a convenience store and someone gave me the sweetest little kitten who looked just like babycat used to and i was so happy. she was so sweet and soft and she clung to me and purred and purred.

that's all i remember. seven hours of sleep and that's all i can come up with. here are a few bits of interpretation from the dream book:

gifts: giving a present usually symbolizes a need to express love or consideration for another person

store/shop: the image of a store may be viewed as presenting the range of life's prospects and rewards. how much we are buying in the dream may indicate our ability to take advantage of these prospects. discovering that the store has sold out of items we were looking for may express our frustration at not getting what we want out of life.

money: for jung, money appears as a symbol of power, and represents an ability to achieve an objective.

cat: the cat owes much of its dream-image to a reputation for being both gentle and sly. however, cats are also independent-minded and may be gentle only when it serves their purpose. like the dog, the cat frequents the underworld of our unconscious, not as a faithful guide for lost souls but as an accomplice of witches hell-bent on letting unconscious urges get the better of our aspirations.

so. i guess my dreams are reflecting that i'm feeling a bit disappointed with my current situation and i'm looking forward to the time when i can throw all caution to the wind and behave like a heathen? hmm. i was kind of hoping it would be more like a fortune, like "the gist of this whole thing is that you're moving in the right direction and everything is going to work out for you just the way you hope!" nothing's ever that easy though, is it?


Anonymous SB said...

You are a poet. Your dreams talk to you in your own images, not anyone else's. Just keep writing them down. Pay attention, wait. You will know what they mean when you need to.

In the meantime, they are poem gifts.

November 02, 2005 9:36 PM  

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