Sunday, November 27, 2005

journal entry seventy-two...

i really hate J for hurting me and i'm still totally disgusted by this whole thing.

sometimes i think maybe i'll be friends with him again someday; that i'll get over the pain and disappointment and move beyond all of this towards forgiveness and acceptance and love. but the thing is, why would i want to be friends with someone who could do something so cruel and disrepectful to me? i wouldn't put up with it from other people so why would i put up with it from him?

and it really irks me that he thinks this is all because i'm heartbroken that he found someone else when that's totally NOT it. i'm heartbroken that he would pick one of my FRIENDS and that one of my FRIENDS would pick him. i'm hurt and disappointed and disgusted by the whole thing.

they're both so selfish and hurtful and cruel. i don't want them back in my life after this. by the time i get over it to the point of forgiving them enough to be friends again it will be so far from now that we won't have anything in common anymore anyway. when i no longer care enough to be hurt i'll no longer care enough to be friends either.

funny how that works.

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