Thursday, December 22, 2005

fatherless child - lyrics by mystic

yo, on november 24th, 1999
i was in l.a. and i was in the kitchen cookin'
and i got this page, right?
and uh, i called back and i was informed that
my father had passed away from a heroin overdose
about two hours earlier
so this song is for him, and to him
and for all the fatherless children in the world
the mothers who raised us, the people who love us
*****

it's a monday, finally found the perfect beat
to speak my piece on how i came to be
the way i was raised, how i was born
why i smile so sad and have the eyes of a storm
mom's from virginia, you from rhode island
met up in the state where the sun's always smilin'
minds connected, physicals exchanged
y'all both believin' that the world could be changed

time passed to 1973, and you begged my mom to create me
at first she said no but she loved you too much
1974 had a child to touch
but you was into other things, that ripped life's seams
liquor, drugs, other women, destroyin' dreams
but you know how women be, she tried to hold on
for the sake of your love and the beautiful bond

i'm a fatherless child, it's all i've ever been
it's all i'll ever be, since you're gone from me
still i hope you know, that i could never unlove you, love you

1974 was the year things changed
too much alcohol makes people violent and strange
you broke the windows with a baseball bat
as my mother cried inside with me on her lap
the dream destroyed, it was time to leave
she didn't take much, just a few things, her love and me
that was the birth of this fatherless child
and a struggling mother with the world in her eyes
she did it though, (i love you) put herself in college
raisin' me with grace, givin' me the knowledge
and pops you, you never came by
never sent money never called to say hi
i used to lie to the other kids, on the block
say i knew where you was at so the questions would stop
i fronted to my friends that you didn't mean much
but i used to cry alone, and long for your touch

i'm a fatherless child, it's all i've ever been
it's all i'll ever be, since you're gone from me
still i hope you know, that i could never unlove you, love you

ninth grade i thought you were dead
called my mom about a paper, and that's what she said
i was angry and confused, all because of you
wanted to ask you why, and just say fuck you!
but the feeling passed, what was my options?
studyin' my face tryin' to find what was lost and
i decided that you didn't mean shit
that i was really worth lovin' and you lost a gift
before that, i grew breasts and things
got raped in the bathroom, and the question stings
would it have, could it have, should it have
been different if i had your hand to grab?
would i be easier to love, not so torn inside
if you had beat that man, and stood by my side?
would i write sad songs, and court pain daily?
how different would i be if you had raised me?

i'm a fatherless child, it's all i've ever been
it's all i'll ever be, since you're gone from me
still i hope you know, that i could never unlove you, love you

1997 you called my home
from telegraph and 43rd, for the child you never owned
i told you come by, adam came to help me
you were homeless and drunk, but not lookin' uhealthly
we sat for hours, i asked you every question
we sang on my porch and discussed life's lessons
and i loved you, like you had always been there
you said you'd never leave again, so i released my fears

1999 tryin' to sign my deal
ten years of hard work, finally becomin' real
so i brushed you off, writin' songs for a movie
that was the last time i saw you, forgive me truly
the day my deal was done, you died
with a needle in your arm, and angels by your side
and i miss you, tattooed it on my back
'fatherless child', fade to black

i'm a fatherless child, it's all i've ever been
it's all i'll ever be, since you're gone from me
still i hope you know, that i could never unlove you, love you

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