Friday, December 16, 2005

journal entry 105...

very bizarre dreams last night. i can't really remember any of them but the last one involved me, jon stewart, a fancy hotel, 300 pounds of lost clothes and very bad weather on the way.

i have no idea what it was supposed to mean.

twelve hours from now and i will be on vacation. i'm really looking forward to it. i'm going to do my best to not waste any time. certainly i'm going to relax a bit, but i'm also going to make good use of my time. do as much reading and writing as possible. maybe check out a couple of coffee shops, visit some museums. take pictures.

i better do all this shit because i hate when i tell myself i will and then i don't.

lots of songs have been reminding me of mom lately and of course that always makes me cry. so many years wasted avoiding one another, the problems.

i guess we are trying to work things out now though. we talk more and write. we try to tell the truth about our feelings. she no longer hides behind booze. sometimes i do.

it's difficult with her so far away. if she lived closer we could go into therapy together and work some things out. (if she lived closer we'd NEED to go into therapy and work things out.) i'm glad we're talking again though. trying. someday it will pay off and all this awkward suffering will be worth it.

i'm feeling a bit out of sorts today; not sure what i want to say or how to say it. maybe after my shower.

1 Comments:

Blogger Angela said...

Hotel
To see a hotel in your dream, signifies a new state of mind or a shift in personal identity. You need to move away from your old habits and old way of thinking. Or you feel the need to temporarily escape from your daily life.

June 08, 2008 12:06 AM  

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