Saturday, December 31, 2005

journal entry 135...

(my last entry for 2005. i wrote this while i was waiting for the train to get going.)

it's a little before 10 am and i'm sitting on the on a south bound train headed for RWC. i'm starting to feel the beginning of a wave of cramps coming on, and i don't have any advil to relieve the pain. and there are two little kids a few seats away from me acting like little monsters.

it was nice and dry as i walked to the bart station and then it started raining sheets as soon as i reached caltrain. i was grateful for the reprieve as now i am warm and dry and otherwise might not have been.

so this is it: the end of 2005. goodbye, worst year of my life and hello to what i'm hoping will be the first in a long line of bests. i feel like i've suffered enough already and deserve a good run.

i was thinking of all the lost loves i've seemed to mourn every new year: KI, WE, TE, etc. i've only ever had a lover on NYE a handful of times. i hope this will be the end of that trend as well. i hope that this year, 2006, i will find the love of my life, my soulmate, the one who will love me truest and best forever. and that i will return the favor.

i also hope that this year i will be more creative, more positive, more compassionate, happier, kinder, gentler, forgiving, and fulfilled. it's the end of one era and the beginning of a new. i have high hopes for it. an era of sad behind me and an era of glad before me. more love, more peace, more joy, more prosperous and healthy days forever and ever amen.

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