Saturday, December 03, 2005

journal entry eighty-four...

i went to bed feeling like i was riding the crest and i woke up this morning still riding it.

i know it's probably hormonally induced but i'm feeling all happy and hopeful for no apparent reason. how long has it been since that happened?

i think it was "me and you and everyone we know" that sparked it. i just loved that movie. it was so quirky and sweet and made me feel like i'm not the only one. that i'm not alone. that there are other freaks like me out there and we'll find each other somehow.

god, it feels so good to finally feel something besides sorrow or anger or fear or just numbness. it's like my other extremities are finally waking up and coming back to life.

i even dreamt about A last night i it didn't make me feel like shit. i dreamt she was working at the bookstore and i could see her in the back putting books on the shelf but i just told myself to deal with it. i said to myself it's a small city and you're bound to run into one of them somewhere so avoid her if you like, but just get on with your life. and so i did.

i can be such a badass in my dreams.

so that's how i'm starting my weekend. hopeful and happy. i've got a lot on my "to do" list as well, so i better get in the shower and get on with my life.

i can be a badass in real life too.

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