Monday, December 12, 2005

journal entry ninety-nine...

last night i had the weirdest, most disturbing dream. i even woke myself up from it at one point and shook it off, hoping i would dream about something else but instead i went right back into it.

it's kind of too complicated to explain other than to say i was at an abortion clinic getting prepped for an abortion and i just kept thinking to myself how i wasn't even sure if i was pregnant. i kept thinking i'd just had my period a week ago and that it had been several months since i'd been with anyone and we'd used condoms and, and, and...and i was still laying on the table getting prepped for an abortion.

i was really, really worried it was going to hurt. and a couple of the doctors were sexist perverts i overheard commenting about the women they were operating on. it was creepy. and scary. and it went on and on until the alarm finally woke me up before i found out if it was painful or not.

and i have no idea what it means. i've never been pregnant and i haven't been with anyone in months so it's not like i'm actually worried about an unplanned pregnancy. unless i'm just subconsiously more worried about alito and the courts and the future of american women than i thought i was.

obviously there's no entry in the dream book for abortion. apparently people don't dream about it much? or it's too controversial a subject even in dreams?

so yeah, that was weird and now i'm a bit out of sorts. how does one start the day after a night filled with scary dreams involving hospitals, scalpels and girly parts?

i think i need to meditate and clear out the negative energy and then post a new entry. right now i'm just all what the fuck could that dream even mean?!

1 Comments:

Blogger Angela said...

To dream that you have an abortion, suggests that you are hindering and blocking your own growth. You may be hesitant in pursuing a new direction in your life.~ source dreammoods.com

June 07, 2008 11:40 PM  

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