Wednesday, December 14, 2005

randomness fifty-nine...

in a particularly non-zenlike moment i looked out the window fully expecting to see A on the corner waiting for J. i expected that at the exact moment i looked out there he would be walking up quickly, eagerly, to embrace her.

and this made me mad.

i thought they're both probably really happy right now and it didn't seem fair. how they can manage to go on and be happy without me. how they can go on and be happy without shame or guilt.

and this made me mad.

i'm not particularly proud of it, i'm just stating the facts.

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