Thursday, January 12, 2006

journal entry 163...

it was crisp and clear and i made all the lights and missed all the puddles of vomit so my walk to work was quite pleasant this morning.

when i got to the top of the hill and could see the hotel harrington sign i was overcome with this intense feeling of wonder and joy. i actually stopped to acknowledge it and congratulate myself on my hopefulness.

it was that same feeling i had all those many years ago when LA and i drove up here and had brunch on the roof of her lover's apartment building. everything seemed so lovely and new and full of possibility.

i've decided that's my favorite emotion: the thrill of possibility and the hopefulness surrounding it. it's better even than really getting what i want - the excitement of knowing there's something wonderful out there for me and that i might actually be able to have it. it's so much better than working and struggling to finally get it and realize that it wasn't what i wanted after all.


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