Saturday, January 14, 2006

journal entry 165...

a whole week of not feeling shitty and miserable. i can't remember how long it's been since that's happened. i've actually felt pretty good in fact, and hopeful about the future. i wonder if it's a real, lasting change. i certainly hope so.

sometimes i just tell myself that i feel happy and then i do. kind of like i feel nothing until i announce it to myself and these days i announce that i'm happy instead of announcing that i'm pissed off and hateful or sad. it seems to work so i'm going to keep doing it.

"i feel happy and optimistic today!"

i think the interview went well yesterday. the people i met with seemed really nice and appreciative of my interest. they also seemed really excited that i'm all "arsty" and whatnot because lots of the kids express themselves better through art. the things they have trouble communicating verbally often comes out in other ways and the program director seemed impressed by my "extracuriculars". the thing that really got them going though, was when i told them i'm really organized and good with schedules and time management and budgets. i guess this is an area the kids really need guidance in so they were psyched that it's something i'm good at and enjoy.

i should find out next week if i'm accepted. i think as long as my references and background checks out i'm good to go.

i'm looking forward to dinner tonight. i made the potpie filling last night and it turned out pretty good except that it's a bit salty. i forgot to get low sodium chicken broth and believe me, it makes a difference. i'm going to add some water and cream to it when i reheat it before putting it in the pie to bake. hopefully i can cut down on some of the salt without making it too watery or runny. at least i'm a pro at the cobbler though, so that'll be fine and worry free.

it will be nice to see BO and XT again too. i haven't had company since BE came over before xmas that one night. my second house guests since september. egads. which reminds me, i've got some cleaning to do so i'll end here for now.

"i feel happy and optimistic today! really! yay me!"

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