Tuesday, January 17, 2006

journal entry 168...

well, that's that. the last of my long weekends for awhile. the holiday season is truly over and now it's back to the old grind indefinitely.

i slept so much this weekend. it was nice though. i've been feeling like i'm on the edge of getting sick but hopefully the extra rest and relaxation gave me the extra boost to my immune system and i'll miss out on any illness.

yesterday i napped for almost three hours and when i woke up at 4:00 i was worried that i wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep at a reasonable hour but i actually wasn't able to stay awake and fell back to sleep around 7:30. my back is kind of sore from laying in bed for so long.

but anyway, i do feel rested and ready to start my work week. i've also been feeling more content and peaceful lately, as if all of the heavy duty heartache is behind me and now i'm actually healing and recovering and moving on. i haven't been nearly as obsessed with J & A or what they're up to, so maybe there's hope for me yet. i can indeed let things go and move on with my life.

tomorrow is J's birthday though so we'll see. i'm sure i'll be hurt/annoyed that i'm not invited to anything but even if i was i wouldn't go. it's just that we used to be best friends and now we're nothing. it's sad, but it is what it is. i'm going to send him an ecard to wish him well and then i'm just going to try and forget about it. i think it's possible. i haven't felt really sad about it in almost two weeks so hopefully i'll make it through tomorrow without a relapse.

i'm supposed to find out this week if i'm accepted for the mentor program so i've got my fingers crossed on that. i feel pretty good about it so hopefully they feel pretty good about me too.

i think i just need to keep making plans and working towards a brighter future and not obsess over things i have no control over. pretty soon i'll think about dating again and that'll be a whole new challenge to look forward to. yikes.


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