Thursday, January 19, 2006

journal entry 174...

i was thinking as i was walking to work that i'm really not that far behind. when i think of everything and everyone i've seen and done and loved since i was 18, i've covered quite a lot of ground. and considering i've got at least that much left ahead of me (barring any accidents) i've still got pretty good odds at finding love and peace and happiness again.

i was also thinking that it's really only about 3 years i've wasted. or lost. in the sense that for 3 years i had a specific circle of friends i felt very close to and connected with, whom i no longer do. so now i'm leaving them behind and starting fresh so those years i was with them are now just history and memories. but i'm still young and will meet new people and build new relationships and feel loved and cared about and accepted again. i know i will.

also i was thinking that i can't wait until i feel nothing for J and A. at the moment i feel disappointment and loss over J and disgust and hatred over A. i'll be happy when i can think of or see either of them and not feel the slightest twinge of anything. that will be when i know i've truly found peace.

1 Comments:

Blogger jason evans said...

Time wears away the sharp points, whether or not you've made peace.

January 19, 2006 12:39 PM  

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