Friday, January 20, 2006

journal entry 175...

today's affirmation is really appropriate. i have never been one of those "be here now" people although i've always wanted to be. i think i'm going to try harder to become one, to enjoy my life as it happens instead of suffering through and just hoping something better is going to come along. i need to recognize the positive aspects of everything in my life. even the difficult, depressing parts are setting the groundwork for me to become a stronger, more compassionate person.

last night i had some scary dreams. in one there was a vicious dog that kept chasing after me and as i ran away from it, i ran into high tide and was almost carried out to sea. i managed to grab on to a railing and save myself just in time. there were lots of other little dreams in there too, but they all seemed to come back to the vicious dog and me trying to get away or not be noticed by him.

this week went by so fast. i was incredibly busy and stressed at work and today's gonna be more of the same but at least it's the weekend tomorrow and i can sleep in a little bit. i've got a knot under my left shoulder blade and i'm hoping a little extra sleep will help me relax and smooth it out. i'm also going to take the train down to visit CA, CL, and EM for TO's bday. i'm looking forward to seeing them, especially EM. i've started missing her more often these days. i guess coz she grows so fast and i'm afraid i'll miss something.

i haven't had time to work on a poem this week so i might skip "friday poetry blogging" today. i still have a few hours to come up with something, but i'm not feeling particularly inspired and i know that work is going to be hectic so i won't have much time to be creative. we'll see how it goes.

anyway, i'm going to take a moment to be creative by coming up with a new playlist for my walk to work and maybe it'll inspire me to write something on my way.

p.s. the thing that sucks about not being sad all the time anymore is that i don't seem to have as much to say either. the curse is due next week though so PMS should bring about a bit of melancholy anyday now to throw me into another funk. oh goody.

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