Tuesday, January 03, 2006

randomness eighty...

it's called "active forgetting". the letting it go, i mean.

it will take active forgetting on my part to purge the memories of what they did to hurt me, but it can be done. and one day, maybe years from now, i'll run into one of them and it will be a pleasant surprise. maybe we'll even spontaneously decide to stop into a pub and grab a beer together and catch up.

"why in the world did we ever lose touch in the first place?" one of them might ask, genuinely unable to recall the bitterness between us.
"oh, who even remembers?" i'll laugh. "it was all so long ago and it's just so good to see you again."

then we'll grin sheepishly at one another and sip at our beers, silently reminding ourselves to keep forgetting whatever it was so the good can grow between us again.

and bygones will indeed be bygones.


Anonymous Kurt said...

Not sure about this, actually. It seems to me that we can let go only as we are able. It could be that your grief still has stuff to teach you. Letting go prematurely may deny of some opportunities for growth.

That said, acceptance grief is not the same thing as clinging. I know in my own case it's too easy to fall into the latter.

Maybe not letting go, but gradually giving away.

Just a thought.

January 03, 2006 5:44 PM  

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