Friday, February 03, 2006

friday poetry blogging - nothing edition/journal entry 198...

i didn't write a poem this week. i was busy and preoccupied and i intended to write one today, or tonight at least, but i was all happy/sad/happy/sad/happy/happy/sad/sad/confused/uncertain/etc.

i couldn't make up my mind how i wanted to be or what i felt so i just remained kind of lonesome and disappointed. nostalgic for old times (olde thymes) when J and i were still happy together. in love. (i hate him.) i read through his archives and it made me really sad. sometimes i'm just a glutton for punishment.

A's birthday is on sunday and i just saw that J looked at my old place after he posted some cryptic message on his blog. i know i said i was going to stop looking at it but apparently i lied or something.

anyway, i looked at his blog and it said something weird and it's A's birthday weekend and he was looking at my old place during primetime on a friday night.

i am a horrible, horrible person because right now i'm hoping that he broke up with her and ruined her birthday and that he's sitting home alone realizing that he sucks and she's off somewhere crying in a corner.

but the not horrible side of me doesn't really wish any of that at all. i can't seem to make up my mind which side i'm going to be. whichever side it is didn't bother to write a poem this week. and those sides totally sucks.


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