Wednesday, February 08, 2006

journal entry 204...

i've always been an optimist up to now. i thought i was a pessimist, but really i was hopeful. even when things were going poorly, i always expected them to get better and i'd look forward to that time, knowing that it would come.

i used to be forgiving and loving and hopeful. i'd throw all caution to the wind and risk everything because i truly believed that everything would be fine. that everything would work out okay in the end.

i used to trust and hope and believe, but i don't anymore and i'm afraid i never will again.

it's the loneliest feeling in the world. and it never occurred to me that i would ever reach this point.

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