Thursday, March 09, 2006

journal entry 228...

i think i am finally starting to get my life back.

where i was once consumed with J&A and could barely think of anything else, i no longer am. not that i don't still think of them frequently, mind you, but now it's with less emotion attached.

it has taken me all of these months, obviously, but i am starting to feel much better, stronger. i'm starting to make new friends and follow this new path where it leads me, even as it leads me far from my old life, my old friends, my old memories.

as i was walking to work this morning i actually noticed a split second where i was overcome with joy and a sense of well-being. i thought "how long has it been since i've felt this?" and i couldn't remember. more than a year at least, probably two.

that's not to say that much has changed however. i still do the same things and spend most of my time on my own, but i'm starting to get out more, to make an effort. and spring is here. the leaves are blooming on the trees and the bright, clear days are lasting longer.

my birthday will be here soon and i have no plans, but for some reason it doesn't bother me. maybe i'll make some, maybe i won't, but i'm not going to let it worry me. there will always be another one. for awhile, anyway.

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