Friday, June 02, 2006

journal entry 260...

so. today i discovered that J&A are still together and it didn't make my heart or stomach hurt although it did make me sick to my stomach. it just really grosses me out thinking of them together. it's so incestuous and nasty. also, i hate them.

i also discovered that one of the main couples in my old circle broke up a few days ago. i wonder how that's all playing out. i know whose side everyone's probably taking and i'd say it's the wrong one but they're all stupid and obviously only pick wrong sides so what else would i expect? besides, the one whose side isn't being taken didn't take my side either so you know what? fuck him.

i'm glad my heart isn't broken everyday any more. sometimes i get a twinge of sadness and i miss some of them but then i am reminded of what jerks they all are anyway.

i ran into JO and MY at best buy the other day and they both acted THRILLED to see me and they were all "how are you this" and "you look great that" and "we need to get together soon no seriously!" but it was totally fake. they're not my friends. i emailed MY the next day and she hasn't responded but she's posted a new photo on myspace.

whatever. it's just annoying. it was such a waste of time. that whole five years. what a waste and what a bunch of phonies. i'm so much happier and more peaceful and not so stressed or angry or hostile. about my relationships anyway. i'm making new friends and mentoring and doing more volunteer stuff and pride is coming up and i've decided fuck guys, i'm a lesbo now. and i'm happy and relieved about it.

i love my cat. and i love that the sun has come out to stay. i love that it's warm again. the only thing i don't love is the chaffing from my fat, sweaty thighs rubbing together.

2 Comments:

Blogger jane kay doe said...

i love this sentence:

"also, i hate them."

and thank you for the cd very much! very much. i've rolled up the thing in the tube (the thing i'm sending you is in a tube) but i'm also looking for something to put inside the thing because it doesn't seem like enough.

also, thank you for the very kind words.

con man and i are shopping for canned goods today - hurricane list - and we'll look while we're out.

tube goes in the mail this week. you'll see. it's true. this time.

(:

k. (who sucks with getting things done)

June 03, 2006 8:05 AM  
Blogger broken ladder said...

it was my pleasure, my dear. i hope you like it. i love sharing music with you anyway since we have similar tastes. and of course if it cheers you to know someone is on your side, that makes me happy too. :-)

i got an itunes gift certificate from my boss so i bought some new music and i'm working on a new mix. when it's ready you'll get a copy.

June 03, 2006 8:51 AM  

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