Tuesday, June 27, 2006

journal entry 262...

i've been feeling a bit scattered lately.

now that i'm getting back to real life and not holed up in my apartment feeling like shit all the time, things are getting hectic and busy and i'm feeling like i just want to be lazy and veg. i'm never fucking satisfied.

last night i dreamt i was a waitress for some fancy restaurant and that we ran out of mashed potatoes and i was totally stressed out trying to find the back stock. that carson guy from "queer eye" was the manager. he wasn't as annoying as he is on the show. i thought it was gross that he wanted to reuse the butter pats when i'd reset the tables but whatever. i guess it's important to not be wasteful. people are gross though. you never know what they do to that shit.

i'm starting to get paranoid that i'm gaining weight again.

since i've been so busy i haven't been as consistent with my exercise and i've been eating more sporadically and less healthily. i need to get back to my routine. hence, me writing today to get the ball rolling.

i'm a creature of habit and i have to follow a routine or everything gets all fucked up. like the way my jeans fit.

overall though, things are good at the moment.

i still think about J&A but it's not as absorbing. i'm not consumed with them anymore. i have moments of hate and regret but they pass. i just wish i hadn't wasted so much time thinking they were my friends. they certainly didn't deserve my friendship, love, and loyalty. they were entirely unworthy.

but. as i said, i don't dwell on them anymore so whatever. bygones. be gone. out of sight, out of mind and all that.

this entry sucks because i'm so out of practice. i'll get back into it though. routine. schedules. all that. blah.

there's always tomorrow. until we're all killed by global warming and lack of water i mean.


Blogger Bobby said...

It's like fallin off a bicycle . . . riding one, I mean

June 27, 2006 12:50 PM  

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