Tuesday, June 27, 2006

journal entry 263...

my period is past but i'm feeling a little melancholy and out of sorts today. not sad really, but not exactly happy either.

i wish i could write something. i haven't written a poem in months and it makes me feel shitty and lame. it's because i watch too much tv. i've turned into a bit of a moron over the past few months. i need to get my shit together.

i saw that J updated his myspace profile and he's now officially "in a relationship". i wish i could just get over it and forget about them both, but it makes me so angry and sick. i don't dwell on it all the time anymore, but when i DO think about it i'm just as hateful and angry as if it was yesterday.

and i'm having a difficult time cutting ties with some of the old people. one keeps wanting to hangout and i don't want to because

1) i don't trust her
2) she's still friends with them
3) she's and ex fucker too. not any of my exes, but her other friends exes.
4) i don't really have anything to say to her anymore

i just keep hopiing that time will pass and she'll forget about me. she sends emails saying "we should get together for a movie night soon!" and i always reply "sounds good." but i never offer a date because i hope we'll just never make the plans. i wish i wasn't so lazy and could be more confrontational. mostly i just like to ignore the situation and hope it solves itself.

this is a boring post because i'm boring and i'm not even going to check for typos because really, who cares? when i have something worthwhile to say i'll gussy up but until then blah.


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