Wednesday, June 28, 2006

journal entry 264...

i think i haven't been getting enough sleep lately.

i've been really busy and things have been a bit hectic the past few months so i either get home later than i intend or i'm too amped when i get home to fall right to sleep. we've got a long weekend coming up though, so i'm going to try and make sleeping a priority. (the life of a rockstar i tell ya!!!!)

i've been forgetting my dreams right away too. i think that's from lack of sleep as well. when i wake up on my own i can remember but the alarm has been startling me out of sleep and i immediately forget.

god. i'm so out of practice with writing that i totally suck. i don't have anything of interest to say. it's just more blah, blah, blah, complain, whine, whine.

i will not give up!

this is exercise. i'm practicing and getting back in the habit. it will come to me.

i haven't been reallly, really sad in awhile. i remember when i'd cry and cry at work or on my walk home. how i'd listen to the same song over and over to work myself into a frenzy and then i'd just bawl and bawl until i scared babycat. now i'm back to normal: jut kind of dull and numb and not too much of anything either way. i'm not sure if i'm happy or perplexed about it.

some old friends got married and i'm trying to make a cd mix for them. it's kind of weird coz i've always known them just as "best-friends" and they've always dated other people and just been friends and roommates. i fooled around with CR a lot in my younger days and i had a bit of a crush on JE when i first moved out here so it's weird that they're a couple now. married. mr. and mrs. CR.

anyway, i don't know what kind of music they like these days so i'm just making a mix of my favorite love songs and thinking it's weird how they'll listen to it and maybe make love to it and it's just so weird because i've always seen them like brother and sister.

that goes to show what i know.

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