Friday, June 30, 2006

journal entry 267...

i'm so glad it's friday and i can sleep in tomorrow.

it's a long holiday weekend too so i can sleep in until wednesday. hopefully by then i'll be recovered and rested up so that i'm not a zombie when i wake up.

like i am right now.


my eyes keep glazing over and i just want to go back to sleep. i'm trying to get back in the habit though so i have to keep going through the motions until it's second nature again. i should've waited to start this routine until the week after next since the long weekend is going to throw my schedule off anyway.

how much time am i going to waste writing about how tired i am?

last night i had lots of dreams that i can't remember. the one i can remember though involved J. i was pissed because we were roommates or something and he was sleeping in my bed and babycat was in there with him and i was forced onto the couch. i don't remember all the details but i was pissed that he was in my bed and i wasn't and i was hurt that babycat slept with him and not me.

i have a new pact with myself: no more looking at J's blog or myspace profile and whenever he or A enter my mind i immediately expel them and think of something or someone else. i have to stop feeding the habit and just put the whole thing behind me.

it's done. it can't be undone. there's no going back.

i don't actually care anyway. i only keep looking because i hope to learn that they're miserable and sad and that they regret everything. i don't think he'll ever publicize that though so...besides, he's a lame writer and his posts are uber boring anyway.

so that's that. seriously. no more looking or thinking about it and by august i think i'll be fully healed and moved on. it's almost been a year anyway. it's taking me long enough.

also? i hate them.

anyhoo. this is what you get when a zombie writes. did i mention that i'm so glad i get to sleep in tomorrow?



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