Tuesday, July 11, 2006

journal entry 271...

last night i had a bunch of dreams i can't remember.

the only bit i remember is from right before my alarm went off. there were a bunch of us in this little shed that was a "tornado simulator" and we were all waiting for it to work so we'd know what to prepare for. except it didn't really work and the shed barely shook or moved at all. the"harsh wind" barely amounted to a gentle breeze and we all gave the simulator operator shit for it.

we were disappointed that it wasn't more realistic but i was secretly relieved because i was actually quite scared going into it. that didn't keep me from going along with everyone else and giving the operator dude grief over its failure.

i'm trying to get back into my "positive positivity" routine because i've been kind of bitter and bitchy lately. mostly the routine consists of doing a few breathing exercises and whenever J&A or any of those assholes from my old life find their way into my thoughts i just think to myself, "oh who cares?" and let it go.

so far it's working pretty well. i have felt a bit calmer and less hostile which is a relief. it's exhausting being pissed off all the time. "ms. furious". that's been me for the past few months. i'm easily enraged but i do nothing about it to blow off steam so it just builds and aggravates and frustrates. the breathing and letting it go help a lot.

also i've been paying less attention to current events. reading the paper just upsets and depresses me so i've cut back considerably. i'll be so glad when king george's reign of terror is over and we can get on with repairing all the damage he's done.

i've been thinking about getting back in the dating ring. it's been a very long time and i miss the companionship. i want a best-friend, someone to share thoughts and experiences with. i figure i'll post an ad or answer an ad or start going out more after dad's visit. that gives me a month to prepare myself. i think i can do it.

last night i fell asleep before it was even dark out. i was exhausted though. it's like one night i have insomnia and the next night i pass out at 7:30. as long as i'm catching up on the sleep i miss i guess it's all good.

so. this is a boring ass entry. i guess that's what happens when you try to be all zen and shit.


Blogger Bobby said...

That's a weird dream. Interesting though.

Hey, you should write a poem based on that dream and go read it at a poetry reading!

The news is very depressing lately, isn't it? I cutting back too.

July 13, 2006 7:52 AM  

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