Monday, August 21, 2006

journal entry 279...

i don't know why i've been thinking about J&A so much lately. it's annoying though. i wish i could just erase them from my mind entirely. it's boring and old.

last night i had this weird dream that they were in. A looked really pretty (not like she does in real life) and was being really nice to me. i was waiting in line for some water slide ride or something and J was waiting beside me. i asked A to go away so i could talk to J in private and she was happy to oblige. i was pissed that she seemed so confident and secure.

J didn't look like himself either. he was really ugly and he had really bad, painful looking acne. he didn't seem at all comfortable to be alone with me and he kept looking back to see where A was. i was trying to talk to him and was pissed that he seemed so preoccupied with where and what A was doing. i started yelling at him and told him how fucked he was and what a backstabber and terrible friend he was blah, blah, blah. he said something that bored and annoyed me so i just walked away. i was really pissed that he didn't seem to care about me at all.

i think that's my problem - i'm pissed and hurt that they're still together, happily obviously, and he doesn't care about me or what he did at all. it's like our whole relationship was bullshit. a lie. he probably says all the same stuff to her that he said to me. he lies and i still hate them both.

i wish i could just forget them both.

also: john mayer looks exactly like he did five years ago. he should really think about brushing his hair.

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