Friday, October 20, 2006

randomness 100...

i remember when i first moved out here, for the first time. it was like i was "the new girl" at school so i was used to it, but it was still scary and uncomfortable like being "the new girl" always was.

we went to the gatehouse and pudley's and miyaki's a lot and it was all so new and exciting and it all seemed so huge and meaningful, like: "THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE! YOU ARE A NEW PERSON, BROKEN LADDER, BEHOLD THE GLORY!!!"

it did change my life. it did. but it was such a whirlwind and i had so many expectations and i had no idea what to expect that so much of it happened while i was still in shock and stunned that i had ever left home to begin with. me. a midwestern girl. out here on the left coast. i loved everything but was afraid i didn't fit. that the others could see i was clumsy and uncultured and i wasn't even that pretty.

i remember going to a party at alec's. he was like 6 or 7 years older than the rest of us but he was fried. i knew right away he was weird but his family had money and they lived in this amazing home in the hills.

i tripped acid with him and he creeped me out and i don't remember how or where we slept but i remember waking up and not knowing where he was and not wanting to see him. i snuck out like a stoned person does: all paranoid and ridiculous and absolutely clueless. i had only been in town a few months so i barely even knew where i was, and i was rushing to get out of there before he remembered i was there.

i ended up grabbing my backpack and finding my bike and realizing that i was dying of thirst and was locked out of his house. i ended up getting into the pool area somehow and drinking chlorinated water from the pool. i was an idiot then and didn't really even consider it. i remember thinking, "people have peed in this pool, but it tastes like medicine." it was the pee i was concerned about.

anyway, i drank a bunch of chlorinated pee water and then rode my bike down the hill with barely an idea of where i was going. somehow i ended up on page mill? arastradero? el camino? i don't remember coz i didn't know the streets then but i remember that bear saw me and pulled over and offered me a ride and i was so happy and relieved because i was still dying of thirst but then a paul mccartney song came on the radio and she had to pull over to cry because she loved him so much.

i was annoyed but thankful that i was getting a ride. i just wanted it to be over sooner so i'd know where i was and could drink unchlorinated unpeeified water but i was patient. i've never really been a beatles person per se. (what the fuck does "per se" mean exactly, anyway?)

i want to say that i made it home and went to that market in menlo park and got a pint of chunky money and went home to our place on laurel, but i really don't remember what happened after bear pulled over to cry at paul mccartney.

i do know that i apparently made it home and lived to tell coz, well, i guess i'm tellin.

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